Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think i have two assholes
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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