So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
