i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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