Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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