office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
