somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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