Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize
