Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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