Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
two words: eviction party
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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