Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we're so committed to being not committed
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize