was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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