i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
