We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
