hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
