was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
