She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
