That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
