I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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