My cat gives me a boner
i love accidental penises.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
