i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize