Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
