You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
