At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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