Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
