She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
