The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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