the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
