You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize