So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
