there's paper in my vomit.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
