Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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