My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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