You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
