is your mom at the bar?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
