Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
