I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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