no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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