I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
