I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
