There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize