Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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