i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
