I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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