I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Alive.
So much puke
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
