What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
