i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
