Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
