I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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