Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
