I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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