North Korea, Best Korea!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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