shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize