Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
