Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
