just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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