I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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