k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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