he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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