I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
