Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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