he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
