Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
