would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
