He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
