It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
