nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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