your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
