After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
