porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
