Dual....:-)
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Nicole vs. Life
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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