Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
